I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
