Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My liver just broke up with me...
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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