I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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