I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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