This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
So apparently I’m into choking now
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
