I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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