white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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