my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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