Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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