I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
