i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize