Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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