I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
