Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
