around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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