I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
