Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
