I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
