I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
