Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
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