Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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