dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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