I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
