So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
