yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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