That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
