So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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