maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
