The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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