Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
