Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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