Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
