Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
