I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
