real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
