you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
