apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
