You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
