Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
