You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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