you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
