all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
