I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
