I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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