The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
