make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
