I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
