Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
