hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
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