All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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