I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
