Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
